~Promises Fulfilled~ (Part 3)

Daddy: Strong, wise, protective, hard-working, honest, faithful.
Each of those words merely scratch the surface of who my Dad is & the kind of man I view him as, not to mention the kind of man he's proven himself to be.

My Dad has been my constant, my leader, my headache (due to his overly playful self at times!) & the man who held my fragile heart in his hands. He knew that the heart which he held would one day belong to another & he was simply keeping it safe in the mean time. He took his job seriously, treasuring the gift which he'd been given... & I've gotta say, my heart's extremely thankful & I think he did a wonderful job.

As a little girl, I can think back to many wonderful times where my Daddy would play "Sack-of-potatoes!" & throw me over his shoulder as if I were just that. I remember him tucking me in, reading me stories, blowing on my belly until I laughed so hard I could barely breathe & telling me the cut on his chest was really a worm under his skin (I can't believe I actually believed him!). Truth is, my Dad was the only man in my life.. God gave me to him before He gave me to anyone else... so the task of transferring that headship was not going to be easy. I mean, it's only natural that the dad loathes the young man desiring his daughter, right? It's only natural that the dad despises the young man "stealing" his daughter from him & taking her away... it's only natural, right? RIGHT.
Now, you may be thinking "Where is this going? I'm so lost..." but for suspense purposes, I had to add a little confusion, or a twist (so to speak).
It is only natural that the process just explained functions the way which was just laid out... but the neat thing is that, if done right, a true love story is not scripted in the "natural realm" but in the supernatural one! GOD works things out according to HIS will... not US doing what WE want to make US feel good!

So, this is where it gets exciting.

The dad, my Dad, who I had seen protect me from everything- big or small...the dad who'd saved me from "night monsters", spiders & bad dreams. The dad who'd come to my rescue once I'd fallen or even at times, intentionally done something ridiculous, was now about to meet a young man asking to possibly court HIS little girl. This would only naturally end up with heated words & sore fists, right? WRONG. Because this is one of those super-duper-exciting-supernatural love stories! :)

It was the fourth of July when my Dad stepped into Skinny's to meet Brandon for the first time. I'd equipped him with a list of questions I wanted asked, but little did we know that Brandon also came prepared with a list of questions, much longer than mine! Upon speaking, my Dad was amazed as he watched/heard nearly every single question written on my list being asked to him about me. My Dad later said that in that moment he could tell Brandon & I had the same heart. He told me that he simply looked at Pastor Blackburn as if to say "Did you tell him what all we said in our meeting???" & Pastor Blackburn immediately said "Brother, I promise I didn't tell him anything!". My Dad was impressed by how Brandon carried himself. He didn't cower or act intimidated by the situation, but instead acted like a mighty young man of God, stepping out to do what God had told him to. The meeting went amazingly well & I like to tease that it was pretty convenient that Brandon met my Dad on the fourth of July.... because the fireworks exploding in my heart matched what was going on up in the sky! ;)

After my Dad's meeting with Brandon on the fourth, there was a time of mentorship to take place. Brandon came to work with my Dad for two days... one of the days he nearly starved Brandon- the poor guy... my Dad gets busy & forgets to eat sometimes, the next day.. Brandon brought his lunch :P
I found the time of mentorship very neat because Brandon got to see my Dad in action, doing what he does best. There was a more casual setting to get to know one another & the thought that Brandon would go spend two full days working for "free" was crazy... but in the end, he was doing it all for me...so it was really the greatest paying job of his life. haha

(During the week of July 4th, I also met several times with Brandon's mom, Mrs.Susan. We got to spend time together talking, in prayer & reading through "A woman after God's own heart". She was finding out things about me to see if I was compatible for her son.. It was all so amazing because while some may call it a time of "interrogation"... I call it a time of seeking God & developing relationships. I wouldn't have done it any other way!!)

Brandon survived the two days with my Dad. He walked away without any injuries (hooray!) & got permission to call me that upcoming Wednesday.

Each second passed by so slowly, what felt like forever, but finally Wednesday night came around.
*Ring Ring*
My Dad's phone began to ring, my heart pounded faster & faster... I was about to speak with the young man going to such extreme measures just to simply TALK to me!...
Finally, I was handed the phone.

"Taylor?"
"Yes?"
"Hi, This is Brandon Blackburn..."

I know, I know. I'm totally going to leave you hanging... but hopefully you'll tune in next time for Promises Fulfilled: Part 4! You'll get to hear how our first conversation went... & find out what came of it. Once again, I've just gotta say- All glory be to God! I am beyond thankful for the Lord's gracious hand in my life. I pray you never hesitate to lift up praise & thanks to the One who blesses so abundantly, loves unceasingly & causes ALL things to work out how HE designs them to. Never think your life is by chance or a mess of meaninglessness, because I can assure you that YOU were indeed created for a purpose & if you choose to look to Him, He'll show you the way :)

-Taylor

Promises Fulfilled: Part 2

Time passes so quickly, as I'm sure most of you would agree. I plan on trying to write more frequently, but I do apologize for the delay in my posts! Now, where was I? Ahh yes... the beginning...That's always a wonderful place to start ;)

On June 14th (my wonderful Momma's birthday!) my sisters, Mom & the Sorah family went to a ceremony for the Civil Air Patrol to support some local Boy Scouts the Sorah's knew. My family (minus myself & my Dad) had no real reason to be there... but God sure did. Unknowingly, that night ended up being the night my Mom first saw Brandon. It is said that he stepped into the room in his uniform & demanded the utmost attention. The way he carried himself & received a prestigious award earned him nothing shy but the title of a man. Naturally his unbelievable looks caused whispers to stir, especially between that of my Mom & Mrs.Sorah. "Oh my! Isn't he handsome!"- "Ha! Don't think I'm opposed to arranged marriages!". Comments such as these were jokingly thrown around... but little did we know the joke was on US... because God had been mightily moving, starting back in April when my Mom had that funny conversation with our friend from co-op (see Promises Fulfilled: Part 1 if you've yet to read it!).

That evening, once my family got home, my Mom was mentioning the remarkable young man she'd seen that night (We didn't even know his name at this point..) to me & how impressed she was with him. She jokingly let me know that "you never know what God's doing...". Oh, how little I valued her words & how little she realized the weight of them.. I shrugged them off with a laugh & smile & went about my life.
When looking back on the events of the 14th, my Mom & I were shocked to replay something funny happening in the pool earlier that day. My Mom & I were out swimming & through casual talk, I mentioned the fact that I felt ready to meet who God had for me & I prayed that God would bring him into my life SOON. My oh my, God sure does answer prayer, doesn't He?! I am still amazed to see just how good & quick to answer He is :) The week of the 20th my family went to Missouri to visit my Grandparents, while on the trip it was brought to our attention that Brandon's dad, Pastor Jon, wanted to set up a meeting with my dad. Upon our arrival, they set a meeting time for July 1st. The purpose of the meeting was to see if Brandon & I were compatible. The dads, who know their children inside & out, would be able to figure out things such as religious beliefs, personal preferences, etc. If Brandon & I disagreed on everything, big or small, there would've been no point in our meeting one another.. so the dad's met to see if they could/would give their blessing for Brandon & I to meet. Also, one other neat thing worth mentioning: The week before the 1st, Brandon's mom & dad called my parents EVERY DAY to talk & pray together. I was amazed to watch the friendships form between all of them!

God is SO good! I pray this story proves His love & faithfulness to all of you as much as it's proven evident to me. Remember to stay tuned for the next post, Promises Fulfilled: Part 3, because we're about to find how my protective Daddy dealt with meeting my possible pursuer. *Dun-Dun-Duhh* ;)





~Promises Fulfilled~ (Part 1)

When I turned 14, my Daddy took me out to eat for my birthday & presented my purity ring to me. He told me that by accepting the ring I'd be making a commitment to my future husband but also be making a commitment before him (my dad) & God. After talking to him in more detail.. I decided the path of purity is what I wanted to pursue. Ever since that day I've tried to always live above reproach & glorify God in all things.
(Note: I am human, I mess up, make mistakes, fail & fall like everyone else... but my heart desires to always honor God.)
Once my declaration of purity had been established- I prayerfully, & with the assistance of my parents, developed a list of attributes & characteristics that I desired in my future spouse. My objective in doing that was to eliminate young men who were the furthest thing from what I knew I needed or what God wanted for me. By forming my "list", with the help of my parents, I knew what I wanted, needed & would be approved of by my parents without having to date around from guy to guy trying to "figure things out". I knew that God already had my future husband picked out for me & since HE knows all things I thought seeking Him made more sense than trying to date around until I thought I got it right.
So, I created the list & began the waiting game. There were young men who came in & out of my life who acted or said they were interested but would run away as soon as the words "I'm saving my first kiss for my wedding day..." escaped my lips. There were young men who came in & out of my life claiming to care but God's plan included a young man who not only claimed to care but backed up his claims with actions. While I wondered if God would ever bring the one He had for me into my life, while I tried to combat the comments of distant family members telling me I was missing out on the best time of my life & I needed to be prepared to be single forever because "if there were a god" he wouldn't bring me "someone like that"... I waited, knowing they were wrong & that God would be faithful like He always is. Little did I know, God was working in a wonderful young man's life... helping to preserve him & keep him... all for little ol' me. :)

I teach a class called Decidedly Different for young ladies ages 12-18 at a local homeschool co-op. A mom who attended that same co-op had seen me around, gotten to know me some over the years & was impressed by what she saw.. so she casually told my mom one day; "Oh, I know of a wonderful young man I would LOVE to introduce Taylor to! He's a pastor's son & has all of the same values as she does, especially when it comes to purity... but he's career military & I just couldn't do that to a momma." Now, if any of you know the relationship my Mom & I share, you know we're the best of friends... so naturally her response was "Thank you for not doing that to a mother!" & that was about it. The conversation & thought of something developing between the two of us died.. or so we thought. Several months later though, God began to mightily move resulting in 3 weeks later, me entering into a courtship relationship with a young man who I would have never dreamed I'd come to call "mine".

This is just the beginning of a several part post on the crazy journey of mine & Brandon's courtship story (So be sure to stay tuned for there is still much to come!!). It's rather long.. but to try & quickly tell the story just doesn't do God justice nor give Him enough credit. He's done so much in our lives so I want to clearly represent Him & His marvelous handy work in the lives of two people who chose to defy the worlds way of doing things & embrace His idea of purity instead.

{ Brandon & I enjoying a fine day of blue skies, set painting & laughter (: }

::Sleep-Deprived Ramblings::

A big, hearty "Howdy!" to all of you Facebook friends & blogworms! (if you can be a bookworm, surely you can be a blogworm- right? haha)

Since I'm pulling an all-nighter I'm desperate for things that will preoccupy me... so I figured, writing another blog would accomplish that AND help me accomplish another post, which I've been needing to do.
SO: here I sit.. restlessly on the couch..pecking at the keyboard & trying to riffle through my many thoughts!
If you know me very well, you know I'm passionate about my Jesus & I strive to glorify Him in the different aspects of my life.... You also know that I try to see Him in everything!
I'm constantly walking around, gaining revelation from things such as dried noodles & baby teeth. (yes, strange.. I know. I will try to blog about those at another time!)

The thing God spoke to me about today was another strange analogy.. but in all honesty, I don't care how strange of things He reveals to me.. as longs a He IS revealing things to me!

Today I was packing my plethora of clothing & such into my purple suitcase. The suitcase I used to consider big now looks overwhelmingly small due to the abundance trying to escape the confines of its walls. I came with a lot & am now leaving with even more... so, as you would rightfully assume, this serves as a problem.
As I stood there trying to develop a strategy.. I realized there were two things to do.

1) Shove more into my carry on
&
2) Leave some stuff behind.

Now, I'm not one who likes to give up my stuff. I can be a creature of habit...My "junk" makes me happy & I hate to get rid of my things. (I can picture my mommy reading this & saying "Amen!":P) I naturally didn't like having to leave some stuff behind.. but I knew that I had to... so I started trying to think about what I wanted to leave & take back with me. I had all of my original stuff... things I'd purchased for other people... a few new clothes I'd purchased for myself... & some (not all, but some) ugly souvenirs from different people.
I finally decided I'd leave those few souvenirs that I didn't really like. I mean, I don't have room.. I'll never use them... they'll just take up space at home, too.

-My mind is spinning with different analogies... so I'll do my best to explain what's taking place inside my brain. You may want to buckle up though, it'll probably be a bit bumpy!-

In regards to #1:
How many times do we not want to rid ourselves of things in our life, so we cram pack it into our "carry on"? We pack up all of our problems/pain & carry them around with us, wherever we go. It holds us back & weighs us down... but because we don't want to do without, we painfully do with.

In regards to #2:
How many times do we make room in our lives for the things WE enjoy, like, appreciate, find fun-beautiful-nice but refuse to make room for others? We look at our busy schedules & make room for an exciting event... but when asked to help or hang out with someone who isn't considered "The cream of the crop".. we're suddenly busy & unable to attend, help or serve. We push our "luggage"(lives) around to fit the things we like into our suitcase... but are willing to throw out the gifts (needs/wants) of a kind friend simply because it doesn't suit us. I'm not sure about you, but this spoke volumes to me.

I don't want to weigh my life down with things I could do without. I want to be free to go & do the Lord's work, without the baggage of my past pain, regrets or problems. They're not going to help me... they're going to hinder me. That's a guarantee.
I don't want to simply make time for ME, Myself & I... my wants, likes, interests & desires... I want to make time for those who are considered the "lesser" people. I want to make time to serve someone above going to a movie. I want to make time to lend a helping hand instead of going to a conference. It's a crazy thought, but what a powerful change we'd see in the world if Christians stopped simply attending conferences/events teaching on how to be the hands & feet of God but instead actually BEGAN being the hands & feet of Him! Wow!

I pray this was an encouragement & hopefully made some sense. It's about 2am here in Romania & I am sleepy... but I just love sharing the things God places on my heart. No matter how radical or silly! I'm thankful that He can & will use a sleepy & nonsensical,at times, person such as myself :)

-Taylor

 

(P.s. For your viewing pleasure: Since I mentioned the word clothes I'm going to act like this picture somehow ties in to what I was saying... but I wanted to post it mostly because I really like this picture & I wanted to share it with all of you. Aww, I know :P I've had to hang my clothes out to dry on clothes lines like this for a whole month. Dryers: I shall not take you for granted, ever!)

A random hodge-podge of ministry opportunities! :)

After my last blog you may have been left wondering if anything GOOD had been happening on my trip.
Why yes, of course!
So, I'm extremely excited about this post! God is SO good & does things on a much bigger scale than I ever could have dreamed. What I consider "amazing" is lame in comparison to what He has in mind. It's fabulous just how great He is!
Amen? Amen!

The week I got sick, I had been at a kids camp. The days before my attack of illness *dun dun duhh* (haha) I got to spend time with some of the most beautiful children.

(-See? I wasn't kiddin'!)

I had the wonderful opportunity to help lead & teach! I taught on something God's been speaking to me a lot about... & that's obedience. So, naturally, I talked about the story of Jonah. I created this huge cardboard fish, (which... most of you know my severe lack of artistic ability!) got some costumes together & did a play with them. They all loved it! So much so that they took & hid the fish & wouldn't tell me where it was. haha. I guess I didn't do too bad of a job on it ;)
Getting to spend time with the kids was a blast. We went to the river & swam... we played hours upon hours of badminton (that sure does have a way of makin' you sore!) & we had a jolly good time, despite the language barrier. That's one thing I love about kids... it doesn't matter if you can't talk to someone.... a game of charades will ensue if necessary! Children have such pure, innocent hearts & they truly are like sponges... soaking up everything you say. Having to leave early was sad... having them run & hold onto you, begging you not to leave, was tough... but I know that I at least went & got to share the truth with them! That alone is enough to put my heart at peace.

The day that I got sick for the second time, I had gone to spend the weekend at an orphanage...but was unable to go due to getting sick, again. I had been sad over the fact that I wasn't able to go & spend time with all of the orphans... but it hadn't even dawned on me until now.

I did get to spend time with the orphans. The people I rode with to the baptism had recently, temporarily, taken in 3 adult orphans & were helping them to become established with jobs & apartments It wasn't quite what I had in mind, going & spending time with young orphans..., but I was able to spend all day with 30+ year old orphans & was able to minister & pour into them! So many times when we think of orphans we think of little children... but we usually forget that those kids grow up & are still orphans... they're still trying to make something of themselves & have the heartache of being parent less & not having a family. Spending time with them made me view things in a new way. You have to be a strong person to have gone through what they had & still desire to do something meaningful. They were like children in adult bodies & they were precious... I'm beyond thankful that God allowed me to meet them.

We all went to a water baptism together & that was a beautiful thing! Even though it was a 4 hour long service & I didn't understand ANYTHING that was said... seeing 10 people dressed in all white, with tears running down their faces being baptised & dedicating their lives to the Lord was something powerful, moving & completely universal. It didn't matter that I didn't know what they were saying... in my heart, I did. I could hear & see, fully, the love they had for God & no language barrier could stop that from being evident. I was moved to tears as each person would be submersed by the water & come up "like new". I will never forget that day... it will forever say with me.

Once I had recovered & was feeling better, I went to a church where they asked me, on the spot, to come up & speak in front of the whole church. I wanted to say no, to stand with feet firmly planted, to remain where I was & just be an observer... but I said yes, I stepped out in faith & spoke. I talked about the race we all run, as believers & unbelievers alike. Everyone is running a race, but as followers of Christ... we run to gain an eternal reward. The LORD is our strength & He helps us to endure all things... by keeping our gaze fixed on Him we are able to run with a purpose & for a worthy cause.
(1st Corinthians 9:24-27)

After speaking, the Pastor told me that I could go outside to help with the children...
little did I know that "helping" would consist of me completely running the children's ministry! Since I had recently prepared the Jonah lesson, I went ahead & taught that. The kids, once again, loved it & had a great time acting & learning. It's a bit nerve-racking being thrown into something like that last minute... but when you trust in God, things have a way of falling into place like they need to!

I've been doing a lot of speaking, praise God... He's opened many doors! I've spoken at several women's camps on purity & through giving my testimony/telling the amazing work God's done through my recent relationship with Brandon. After speaking at one of the camps, a lady in attendance asked me if I'd be interested in coming & speaking to some young ladies. I, of course, said yes! We tried our best to communicate & sort through details... but I guess I didn't fully understand because when I went to her house (Where I thought I'd be speaking to about 7 girls) to speak, she loaded us up in her car & we drove to one of the churches her husband preaches at. I ended up speaking to about 40 teens/adults on purity! They also had me lead worship!! Talk about God having a bigger vision than myself! I was amazed that He would give me the chance to share with so many people! That's only one of the many thing's He's done.

After leaving the speaking even Sunday evening... Monica (The Pastor's wife) told me I was going to church with them. I didn't really know what was going on most times... I just did whatever was asked of me. On the way to the OTHER church she tells me that they want me to lead a praise & worship song.. thinking it's be about the same as what I'd just done, I said "okay!" & was thrilled.
Then. We pulled up to a huge church... walked inside... & instead of about 40 people, I found over 400 people! *GULP*
My throat went dry, I'm not gonna lie... I was very nervous... I felt much fear. However, I knew that this was a God thing & He wanted me to be obedient. So, I prayed & prayed & prayed... &&& prayed... stepped up on the stage & began singing "Open the eyes of my heart".
I'm sure it wasn't the most flawless performance... I'm sure I didn't sound perfect... but I was worshipping God. I was singing praise to Him. How can you ever mess up when worshipping the Lord? :)

I went to another children's camp to minister, but that didn't really turn out how I thought it would either. I got there & only 3 people KIND OF spoke English! I couldn't really talk to anyone. But one thing I love is that a smile is understood everywhere. A hug is universal. Love is something that doesn't have to always be spoken... but it can be shown. I was able to show them the love of Christ through playing with them & spending time with them.
One funny thing- They loved my name, for some strange reason!, & would randomly walk around saying "Ty-Lor, Ty-Lor!". Ha! It didn't matter how many times I told them the correct pronunciation... they just never said it right... but I didn't mind, it was cute. ;)

I had planned on staying all week at that camp, but God had a different plan... a much bigger plan!
I was taking a nap during some free time we had at the camp on Tuesday... when I got a call from Monica. I, being asleep & groggy, just woke up, clicked the end button on the phone & went back to sleep. Out of nowhere I randomly woke up & God told me "Call Monica back. You're going to speak." It was as if He literally spoke to me. So, I called her back & sure enough... she wanted me to come speak at a youth camp an hour away from the kids camp I was at. Needing to to talk Gail, I told Monica that I would get back with her but would probably be free on Thursday.... next thing I know, I'm getting a call from Gail saying she'd pick me up in 20 minutes & that I was going to speak... TONIGHT.
I threw my things in my bag, prayed & was on my way.
When I arrived... I was asked to speak & lead some worship. There were about 40 teens there & I was nervous & excited!
I got up & asked the youth to sing to God even though they didn't know the words... but to my surprise... they did know the words! & they sang the songs in English as well! It was amazing being all the way in Romania, singing praise to the Lord in unison!
I then spoke & God completely showed up! He dropped things into my spirit & truly lead the entire session. I didn't get a chance to talk to many people afterwards... but I feel that what needed to be heard, was... & HE was seen throughout everything.

I went Wednesday night to lead a session for several young ladies....& once again, the group was bigger than I thought it'd be! Expecting around 5 or 6 girls... you can imagine my excitement when 12 ladies showed up! I was able to share the story of how Brandon & I entered into a relationship, how God 100% brought me the man of my prayers...& dreams, what exactly "Courtship" is (They'd never even heard of it!) & the amazing blessing that comes with waiting on God to write your love story. The girls were all blessed & filled with many questions... several of the girls actually had their master degrees, so they had very amazing questions, but God fully gave me the right answers!

I've been blessed time & time again by how good God is! He never ceases to amaze me!
I've not had the chance to speak to over about 200 people about purity & Jesus. Wow.
I'm now about to leave for another camp where I will be speaking & leading. Please keep me in your prayers as I step out, again, to share the truth.
I pray this has been a blessing, though it's been relatively brief.
I know I'm blessed & encouraged!
:)

-Taylor

p.s. in an attempt to get this posted before I leave for my next camp... I haven't read through it all... I'm posting my rough draft. A writing "no no".... but I'm desperate! So please show grace while reading it in case I've messed up on spelling or have been redundant! Thank you for your kindness :)

Stepping into my CREATED calling.

I know many of you have been anxiously awaiting my blogs.
I'm terribly sorry for the delay, but in all honesty.. I've not really had it in me to post much.
Let me explain.

I guess I should start from the beginning.
When I was preparing for my trip to Romania, I was stoked! God had been revealing a lot to me, speaking prophecy to many people about the mighty things that would happen once I arrived, giving people visions, etc... So to say I was excited would be an understatement!
I left with this picture in my head that I would be going into churches, speaking, setting people free from many things they'd been bound to, watching healing take place, seeing many souls come to the Lord...
but instead of that, I found myself getting sick my first full week here while at a kids camp ministering. I went "home" to rest & got to feeling better by the next day... so I tried to step out & do some mission work again, I was going to an orphanage to stay & serve.... but during a water baptism I attended before leaving for the orphanage, I got horribly sick again & had to return "home".
By this time, I was extremely discouraged. Nothing seemed to be going right.
Every time I stepped out to do something for the Lord, I became physically ill.
That upcoming Sunday I was better & decided to go to church. I felt fine, Praise God!, & ended up leading the children's program! (I'll post a happier blog on all of the many wonderful things God has done/is doing!)
The day was going well until I ended up going with a Pastor & 3 other guys to do some sight seeing... Everything was a big jumbled up mess & the woman/family that I thought were going too ended up NOT being able to go, so there I was... with a bunch of smelly guys.(Very smelly, might I add. haha)
To make a long story short, one of the guys (though I think he started out playfully) ended up putting me in a headlock& choking me until I could barely breathe.
That was not a pleasant moment.
The same young man drilled me all day long on everything political, historical & Biblical.
In my opinion, he's flirting with atheism... so our conversations were difficult.
As I sat there trying my best to defend God & everything that He is...
that young man sat there trying to make me feel pathetic, stupid & wrong.
To make matter worse, He's a Pastor's son.

By the end of that day I was brought to tears & exhausted.
I was so discouraged because, once again, I felt like nothing was going right.
I had been talking to my parents & feeling like all of this was pointless.
I remember thinking "I'm obviously not called to foreign mission work..."
My parents, & Brandon, encouraged me to remain strong in the Lord & to seek Him even more. So that's what I did. I began reading the Bible, a lot, & praying... a lot.
There were times where I would go for 2-3 hours at a time just praying & reading scripture.
If I had a spare moment, I was praying & reading.
I was trying to fully saturate myself with God.
The enemy was pulling all stops... but I wanted to show satan that the more he tried to mess with me, the more he tried to beat me down, the more he tried to discourage me & pull me away from God... the closer he would push me TO God, the more he would make me LOVE God, the more that I would TRUST God.

Brandon & I have been studying through 1st & 2nd Corinthians together while I'm here on my trip.. that way we're still on the same page spiritually. I'm so thankful, too. God has used those passages to help me in so many ways!

One particular was:
1st Corinthians 4:12
"....When we are cursed, we bless; when we are persecuted, we endure it; when we are slandered, we answer kindly...."

As Christians, we ARE going to be persecuted, we ARE going to be cursed, we ARE going to be talked about... but through a relationship with the Lord, we have the ability to respond to those trials differently. When someone is cruel to us, we're equipped to see through the eyes of Christ, through the eyes of love, & choose to deal in a Christ-like manner.
Another thing I've noticed is that we have this mentality at times that Christianity is, figuratively speaking, some sort of a pill that we swallow resulting in a perfect, painless life. We think that because we "say a little prayer" (& for all of you "wiser" people... don't start singin' that song :P) we're now going to live lives without any burden or heartache or pain. Where does it ever suggest that in the Bible? If I remember correctly, I re-call scripture saying things such as:

-Matthew 7:14 "But small is the gate&narrow the road that leads to life, & only a few find it."
- Matthew 16:24 "...."If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me."
-

None of those things, personally, sound easy or painless... but here we sit, thinking this is what will happen. Then, when trials do come, we find ourselves blaming God. We point the finger at Him & wrongfully place blame. It's always crazy to me how, in most cases, the minute a Christian is going through something... their first question is "Why are you doing this, God?". We call His name into question the moment we can... but I always think, do you not remember that there is light AND darkness? Why are you not questioning satan? Why is he getting off so easy? Part of that is because we have a lack of understanding the might, power & glory of our most precious Savior. We've amplified satan, making him appear much bigger than he is... & we've belittled God, feeling like He's not able to truly help us when we're in need. We need to realize, myself fully included, that trials WILL arise in our lives... but now we're able to cast our cares upon the Lord (Psalms 55:22). Instead of having to go through things on our own... we now have God to help us through things. To be our strength... to be our comfort.

Sometimes, things don't work out the way we'd like for them to... but you know what? Life is not about US. We do not live to seek our own desires & wants... but instead we were created to worship & glorify Christ! We were created to be the hands & feet of God. We were created to (as Matthew 28:19 says) "...go & make disciples of ALL nations..."
All are called & all are created for this purpose. The revelation of this encouraged me more than you can imagine & completely shifted my trip, mindset.. & though it may sound a bit dramatic: life. It's always amazing to me how I can be so overwhelmed by a situation & feel at a complete loss... then I read a scripture & it's truly like 1st Corinthians 3:16&17 says;

"But whenever anyone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. Now the Lord is the Spirit & where the Spirit of the Lord is, THERE IS FREEDOM!"

The Bible is the living word of God, He declared all of it's content to be... so when you're going through something... reading it can & will totally transform what had previously been burdening you. Through Matt. 28:19, I realized that I was indeed called to mission work, I was indeed called to Romania, God did indeed have a plan: That plan is to spread His truth to ALL people. I was created to do that. To glorify HIM & help guide others to His truth that will set them free!

When I was struggling with attack from the enemy, I'm going to be honest, my first response was "Why God?.. Why are you not using me?"
I fell into the trap I have seen so clearly for years... but at times, in the midst of battle, your senses are jolted into disarray & the intensive training you'd received leaves your brain before you even know what's happening.

Through prayer & conversation with Brandon & my family I was pushed, Praise God!, into asking Him "What needs to change? What needs to happen?" instead of "Why are you doing this to me?"
I was pushed into the right lighting where I saw things for what they were...
The enemy. NOT God.

Perspective is crucial with anything we do.
The way we view things can completely change the outcome of a situation.
Instead of responding & viewing things as the world would... we should strive to do as Christ does, love as Christ does & imitate the model He's so perfectly outlined.

"For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, & of love & of a sound mind."
-2nd Timothy 1:7

Maintaining a sound mind is imperative when dealing with the enemy.
You must be on your guard, attentive & prepared.
If you begin to allow the spirit of fear to come in & take hold of you... you'll be overtaken in a matter of minutes. Fear means to be void of faith.
Wow, what a statement.
When I am fearful of something, no matter how great or small, I am actually saying to God,
"I don't think you're big enough for this."
What a slap in the face.
I never want to slap God in the face, I never want to make Him feel like I don't think He's capable of changing my situations.
God is a big, good, loving, just God. He loves you & desires the best for you. If you believe that, it's time to start living like you did.
(It's time I started living like I did...)

Throughout this trip I've been forced to rely on God, no...let me re-phrase.
I've been given amazing opportunities to allow God to take control.
It's hard, at times, to allow God to be the one taking the lead. We have a tendency to want to control things ourselves... so when we have to release it feels strange & tough... but oh the blessings that come with surrender & obedience!

When we let God take complete control of our lives, He does bigger & greater things than we could have ever done on our own ...or even dreamed! Yes, we are capable of living our lives, making decisions & doing the things that we desire... but as it says in Psalms 16:11.. . We find our fullness of joy in the Lord. Our TRUE happiness comes from Him!
I don't know about you, but I don't want to simply be happy... I want to be contagiously joyful! I want to have the Holy Spirit within me so strongly that simply by being around me people feel moved. I want to have the genuine love of the Lord within me so that by simply smiling people feel His encompassing love. I want to live for something bigger than myself, for something beyond my own abilities.
Some may ask how I know God's real & am willing to serve Him at the capacity at which I do...
The truth is, I have no equation. I can't give you a test tube which contains the proof of His existence... But I love knowing that God is bigger than man's understanding, I love knowing that the God I serve, the ONE true God, is bigger than a test tube or scientific experiment.
The Lord has revealed Himself to me in countless ways, countless times & that alone is proof for me. I don't have to know everything... all I'm called to do is have faith & trust in His unfailing love. The kind that faced the grave to cover my sins so that I may freely & openly serve Him with an undignified faithfulness!

I'm choosing to serve God with a radical abandonment. I desire HIS will & wants above my own... but through communion with Him, His will & wants become my own, so it's a win:win situation!

I encourage you to rethink the next time you're in a situation that isn't going as you'd like. Don't blame Him for everything... trust Him with everything.
Don't ever feel like you weren't called to mission work (foreign or not) or ministry... realize that you were not only called to it... you were created for it!
:)

-Taylor

Matthew 10:39 "Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it."

-Romania-

Toothbrush: Check. Passport: Check. Laptop: Check.
My mind was running 90 to nothing on Aug. 1st... trying to go over the many, many things I knew I needed for my trip. I've always despised packing... but let me just say, trying to pack for a month is the worst! I finally crammed everything into my suitcase, zipped it up & was proud to say "I'm finished"... then I realized...I had yet to weigh my bag. This is where it got fun.

:Me vs. Suitcase:
Round #1:
The maximum weight for a suitcase, when flying, is 50 lbs.. my bag weighed 53.4 lbs.
So, I unzipped my bag & tried to sort through what I could afford to leave behind.
Round #2 began:
I stepped onto the scale again... & alas, I lost round #2 as well. My bag weighed 51.2 lbs!
I, once again, unzipped my bag & pulled even MORE out.
However, Round #3 was a success & *DING DING* I won by a heaping 1 lb!

I thought packing would be the most difficult part of the traveling process... but it was nothing in comparison to saying "Goodbye" & the drive from my house to the airport.

{ In the car on our way to the airport... }

Recently, I've been overwhelmingly blessed with an incredible young man, so I've thoroughly been enjoying getting to spend time with him. I've been excited about this trip for quite sometime... but the sudden, God given relationship made the mission trip seem bittersweet. While I could hardly contain my anticipation & excitement for the trip, I now found myself wanting so badly to stay so I didn't have to leave him. After much prayer, I realized that sometimes the path God takes us down isn't easy but we must be obedient. It's not about US doing what we want... it's about Him being glorified in ALL things! God's really been speaking to me about that topic
( Hopefully I'll have time to post a blog on that, soon!)
Needless to say, He has blessed me silly & I needed to go & be a blessing!
I know God has me right where He wants me. When you live a life covered with His fingerprints & handiwork... it makes everything work out & feel right, in the end. No amount of trouble, mishaps, failures, malfunctions or delays make it bad... you view things differently. You see the beauty in things the world deems "unbearable" & "ugly". You see the world through different eyes... Through the eyes of the Lord.

As I CHOSE (yes it's a choice... not just something that happens) to look through His eyes & do as He desired... I became alright with leaving. Though the leaving was tough, I'm filled with so much joy at the thought of doing the Lord's work... & getting to step off the plane, run into the arms of the most wonderful guy ever & see my loving family again is a joyous thought as well! :)

Speaking of planes- oy. The story of my multiple flights is a tale to tell all on its own!
When I finally got to my gate, in Dallas, I was supposed to meet up with Ray & Mary MacDonald. I had never met them... but, thankfully, had seen a picture of them on Facebook. Hooray for Facebook!

I had yet to spot them, after looking for a while, when they called to board the plane. My heart began to beat faster... my mind was thrust into overdrive as thoughts such as "Oh no, my mom is NOT going to let me travel all the way to Romania by myself."- "Great, I get all the way here & now I can't go!", popped into my head. I called my dad & he told me I needed to find out if they'd boarded yet. I went to the desk to ask & of course I got "that's personal information, we can't tell you" for an answer. As I was nearly brought to tears because I didn't know what to do, the lady who'd helped me at the very beginning walked up. I was able to ask her & she had, praise God, dealt with Ray & Mary as well & had wondered if we were together! Thankfully, she was able to help me locate them on the plane!
I was, once again, reminded that God is in control & I don't need to worry about such trivial things... He is faithful to the faithful & does not set us up for failure!

{ A photo I snapped while flying into London :)  }

Once we landed in London, we had a two hour layover. Mr.Ray was having problems with his leg & was taken to the gate in a wheelchair while Mrs.Mary & I were told we couldn't go with him but instead had to go through security.
We managed to make it through the craziness & were told what our gate number was.
Gate B36 was in another building... so we loaded the indoor tram & then trekked to the gate. I sat down to take a breather... the airport is no place for out of shape people! haha
However, the moment I sat down I heard Mrs.Mary yelling for me to come! I rushed over to her & found out that they'd given us the wrong gate number & we had to go back through security & into another building... unless we wanted to go through a long hallway to skip the security checkpoint. Of course we wanted to skip it, so we ran... & ran... & ran... down stairs, through deserted hallways, over peoples toes (Don't even get me started on the elevator situation..). It was quite an..adventure. Yes, we'll call it that. Ha! Once we did finally arrive, we made it with a little less than 10 minutes to spare. Mrs.Mary & I were horribly sweaty & smelly... but we were at least there!
I will never forget that... or sitting in the plane trying to freshen up by rubbing hand sanitizer all over us!

The trip had hardly started & I was already beat & filled with stories! Sitting on the plane I couldn't help but think of all the stories that I would acquire in the month ahead. I was hopeful & excited!

We boarded one more plane & then finally, & safely, made it to Mrs.Gail's beautiful home.
After eating a warm bowl of hot potato soup, we went to sleep after over 24 hours of pure travel/layover time. The sleep was sorely needed... & boy, was I sore. ;)

I hope you've enjoyed reading my lengthy, schizophrenic attempt of a blog.
I will be posting, Lord willing, about the multiple camps & other things, soon!
God Bless!

-Taylor-
:)

The gift of... Redeeming Love

Unrelenting & steadfast you pursue us, with a blazing fire & passion in your eyes. We run away from your gentle embrace feeding ourself all sorts of crazy lies.. that our ways are better than your ways & that we know what's best. Our prideful & selfish ideas & games waltz us right into the depths of darkness, but when you call out to us, reach out to help us, we turn away so dead set on helping ourselves... though on the inside we're screaming out & dying for you to save us. How long will we CHOOSE to wallow in self-pity? How long will we cling to our past as the reason we're unable to move forward with our lives? Using it as a crutch to aid our low standards & lack of motivation, being the catalyst of our depression, bitterness & laziness. Sometimes we force God to allow us to fall on our faces that way we'll see that we're not the ones in charge & that we're not invincible. In those moments we might say "God! Why did you allow that to happen?! Do you not know how embarrassing that was?!". We have no problem placing blame on Him, but we remain silent when He points out the fact that He warned us not to take the steps which resulted in our fall.
We must stop trying to "psych" God out of seeing our true colors. Have we really forgotten that He created us & knows every fiber of who we are? He knows us better than we know ourselves. Do we really think that any amount of forced smiles, fake acting & master manipulating is going to trick God into believing we've got everything figured out & that we're perfect? Notice that in the word "manipulating" is the word "man"... We can easily fool those on earth who have limited knowledge, but we are unable to fool the one who breathed the very existence of life into being..the all powerful & all knowing one.
No matter how thick & high our walls are that we keep up in order to remain "pain free" & unscathed... it will not help. God loves us. He wants to rips those walls apart & create something even more beautiful & infallible. He wants to create us to be clean & new & whole. No matter what we've done or where we've been, God loves us & wants us (His beloved children) to come back into His arms... back where we belong. How long will we allow pride, anger, past failures & regrets to keep us from being truly happy? How long will we keep telling ourselves that we do not deserve His precious gift to us when it's already ours?.. He's already given it to us. We must stop viewing ourselves as insignificant & unworthy, but as mighty heirs!
This has been on my mind a lot over the last few days & I want you to know that, if you're reading this.. it's for a reason. There is something inside of you that can be changed & cleansed. Allow God to touch you, heal you & restore you. He loves you & is not out to mock, tease or humiliate you.. but to take you into His loving arms & show you what love really means. The definition of love is calling out YOUR name... answer His call. Be blessed & be filled. Let Him show you the amazing gift of His... Redeeming Love.

The Other Side of the Story...

I'll never forget my phone lighting up on 10-1-10 and the *duh-ding* of a text message coming through. It was something that happened quite often, but what followed was definitely one of the most powerful and invigorating moments in my life. Through the exchange of a few messages and the prompting of the Spirit, my life, and the life of a dear friend, were forever changed. Let me rewind a bit.

Over the month of September, I had been challenging myself to draw even closer to the Lord. I began seeking him on a different level and He began revealing himself to me in more luminous ways... sweeping my mind with revelation of even the most simplistic and trivial of things. I began reading the book Crazy Love by Francis Chan and was, once again, shaken to the core, the foundation, of my beliefs. After reading that book I felt as if I'd been sleeping and cold water had just been hurled upon me. I was now awake, undoubtedly so. During the few days of digging into the book, I watched as my prayers were so full of desperation, pleas and yearnings to be unquestionably used by Him. I realized that living radically was all I truly wanted, and the way I'd been living had been "bold"... yet nothing in comparison to what He desired for me. September 30th was the last day of the month. I remember praying that night and getting this word from Him. "I have great things in store.". Though there was no bright light, loud voice or gush of wind... I knew it was Him. That night I went to sleep content, refreshed and ready for those "great things" to come to pass.

October 1st was the day I finished reading Crazy Love (& if you've never read it I urge you to do so!). I began thinking about how I wanted to be a history maker and how I wanted to represent Christ to the best of my abilites. It's easy to have the enemy come in during those moments and place thoughts in your head such as "You'll never be good enough"... or "Who do you think you are? Do you not remember what all you've done?...All the mistake you've made? You'll never amount to anything." but 2nd Corinthians 5:17 says; "Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.". So, tell me, why would God throw past regrets in your face? He wouldn't/won't. I thought about how God promises to "... forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." –(part of 1 John 1:9) and realized the hesitation to be bold for Christ was a tool of the enemy trying to keep me from fulfilling the uniquely crafted plan and calling on my life. After coming to that realization, and for seeing the pathetic schemes of the enemy, I prayed that God would purify my heart and give me clean hands so that I would be able to do the will of God. I went about my day as usual when several hours later I received the three word text that perpetually changed me.

"I miss you!" was all Rachel Walker said and my natural response was "Aww, I miss you too!". We exchanged several basic "How are you doing?" texts but the conversation that was about to unfold was something I was completely unprepared for. When I asked her how she was doing she informed me that she had just been released from the hospital, where she had spent the 10 previous days. I asked her why and she simply told me that she was mentally unstable and a threat to her own life. When I questioned her more, she spoke of "becoming someone else" and "when she takes over". This only lead me to more questions and she willingly volunteered answers. She said the doctors diagnosed her with being Schizophrenic, Bipolar and suffering from Psychosis. Now, I've looked into different "illnesses" such as these and I firmly believe that since most scientists cannot comprehend the supernatural all they're doing by giving the "symptoms" a title are merely labeling demons. I will say, however, that it's only my opinion. When she stated her diagnosis something inside of me went off. I automatically knew that the diagnosis of a few doctors was NOT the diagnosis of who she was meant to be in the Lord. I was beginning to text her back informing her of this truth when the next thing I know I'm pressing 'send' to a message asking her to meet me somewhere that night so we could talk and pray. She replied saying she would love to meet me and that we could meet at the park in 20 minutes. I looked at the clock and we established that we'd meet each other there at 7:20pm.

As my mind was racing, at what felt like 150mph, I felt my heart pounding yet a calm sense of peace wash over me. Then the thought "This is one of those 'great things' times" dropped into my head. I then understood that God had been preparing me to face the battle I was about to walk into. I started praying and asking God to show me what I was supposed to talk to her about. I asked God to reveal to me the reason for me going and he then showed me that she truly needed to be saved. When I had that placed in my thoughts I was confused because Rachel had always been passionate about God and bold in her faith... or so I thought. I began questioning Him more, but I couldn't shake the sense that that was a major part of our meeting. God showed me that I needed to talk to her about her family(which I knew nothing about) and let her know that their mistakes didn't have to determine her future and who she would be.

While on my way to meet her the verse Matthew 17:20; "You don't have enough faith," Jesus told them. "I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it would move. Nothing would be impossible." started racing through my mind. I asked the Lord to go before me, soften her heart and keep all forms of distraction away. I prayed that I would be fearless, courageous and have faith... like a mustard seed.

When I pulled into the parking lot Rachel was sitting on a concrete bench. Her appearance wasn't "bad" but I remembered thinking that it was unlike her usual attire. On the average day, when I would see her out and about, she'd be dressed in the cutest little outfits that were the epitome of how an adorable young lady would dress (I remember because I used to always wish I had her clothes). However, the young lady that was before me was dressed in black leather leggings, a black and red tank top/shirt and a pair of red TOMS. Like I said, what she was wearing wasn't bad, I simply made a note in my head that something wasn't right.

Once I approached her we attempted to make small talk, but things seemed forced and uncomfortable. I didn't know what to do/say and it was obvious that she didn't either. We walked over to a table to talk. God told me that she needed to tell me everything she wanted to before I started, because I would be taking longer. I didn't question God on that, for if you know me well you must know that I'm an incredibly talkative person. She began telling me all about the hospital, what it was like, what all the doctors said, what she felt like, what she remembered. She went on and on.... I was in shock. The entire time I couldn't shake the feeling that something was severely wrong, but I couldn't put my finger on what it was....yet.

As she went on with her story she said "and then 'she' takes over. Yes. Another person takes over... and she wants to kill me. Sometimes, I can even look in the mirror and see a different person... she makes me dress differently too.". The moment those words escaped her lips I understood what I first thought at laying eyes on her in the beginning. Rachel was not dressing like her "normal self" on October 1st, but the "person inside" chose what she would wear. I've thought about that moment a lot and have wondered if the demon could tell that I knew... I'm not the best at being nonchalant. The minute she stopped talking and I began, the three people who had been at the park left. As the sun was setting and the day was coming to an end... great things were coming and a powerful battle was about to ensue.

Darkness began to creep upon us, so I innocently asked for us to move over to a concrete tunnel at the park where a light was positioned overhead. As I began talking I felt like God wanted me to speak to her about her family and salvation. At the time, I had no idea what her past had been like. I didn't know what all she had been through, I just knew what God was whispering to my heart. I started telling her that the decisions and mistakes of her parents did not determine who she was in Christ, that she did not have to live the same lifestyle, make the same mistakes and take the same paths. Before meeting her I had looked up several verses that I thought would be beneficial, marked them and had planned on reading them to her... God had something different in mind though.

While sitting there, I spoke to her about her family and about her salvation. When I asked her if she was saved she told me how she had gotten saved, as if she was a broken record...repeating herself multiple times. She changed the answer several times as well but at one point she desperately interrupted herself saying "I'm possessed by a demon!" then went back to telling me her salvation story, as if nothing had happened. I told her to rewind and that I agreed... but it was as if she had never said it...She was confused by my mentioning it and she told me I was crazy for thinking she could possibly be possessed. When I started talking to her about her family God told me to read Psalms 139:13 so I asked her if I could read her something. She was pleasant and kind and said "Of course!". I took my Bible out of my purse and began reading, as I was half-way finished with it I decided to look up and make sure she was connecting with what all I was saying... but what my eyes saw next astounded me more than words can explain.

Looking up, my eyes were no longer looking at my beautiful childhood friend but were staring straight at a demon. Rachel's face had elongated and her eyes were now black. Pitch black. She gazed at me with such a sheer hatred that I had never before felt. In that moment I wanted to run. I wanted nothing more than to get as far away as quickly as possible, but I knew that I had to stay. God had lead me to this moment in time to be His hands and feet... and when I said I would willingly do whatever He wanted, I meant it. Gathering every ounce of courage I possessed I looked away, back to the Bible, and finished reading the passage.

Once I concluded the reading, my heart was pounding so hard I felt it might burst from within. I looked up hoping she'd be back to normal, that possibly my eyes had just been playing tricks with me... but to no avail, she looked the same. I stumbled to form meaningful sentences that were applicable to the passage, but everything kept coming out wrong, that's when I asked her to pray with me. When I first asked her, she simply stared... with her black eyes and such a cold, evil demeanor. My initial question quickly turned into a demand and the next thing I know I'm saying "You know what? I'm not giving you a choice. We're praying. NOW.". My words seemed to be meaningless as she remained motionless, and emotionless. I told her to give me her hands, bow her head and close her eyes. She flipped her hands over but still glared at me. I had tried being nice for Rachel's sake but the realization that I was no longer dealing with her but with a demon hit hard and I felt as if it was trying to test me... just to see how serious I was. With a firm voice I leaned in closer fixating my eyes on its and I said "I told you to bow your head and close your eyes. We are praying to God on High, do it NOW!". As she started to bow her head, though her eyes were still on mine, I placed my hands upon her head forcing hers down and I started speaking in tongues, declaring and rebuking. The moment this happened she began screaming.

As she "sat" there screaming, yelling, cringing, convulsing and contorting I continued to pray. I continued to speak in tongues. I continued to rebuke. A while into it I felt like I needed to look her in the eyes so I could figure out if it was Rachel or the demon. I went to move her hair out of her face when I saw a smirk spread across her face.( Now, I don't know if any of you have seen the movie Passion of the Christ, but the part where the woman is holding the baby and the baby grins all evil like... that's the best way to describe what she looked like.) I moved the hair away from her eyes but she wouldn't look at me. She kept shrieking and then groaning and putting her hands in front of her eyes. Rachel later told me that "I couldn't look at you. I remember trying to open my eyes, but you were glowing. Your entire body was glowing and you were shining so bright! Like brighter than the sun... it was painful to look at you... I just couldn't..."

After about 45 minutes of praying. She sat up and I asked her how she felt. I asked her what she would do if she felt them coming back. She emotionlessly said "Pray..I guess..". At that every moments I saw her eyes switch from normal to black, then go back to normal. I demanded she pray, then she looked down and another voice screamed "No!"... That voice sounded like hers, but played through a voice changer. Another 45 minute time frame went by of praying, crying, screaming. She would come in and out of "being there" and when she was I had her pray against the attacks against her. At times she would be laying, almost lifeless it felt, in my arms yet I could feel things moving violently beneath her skin. Though those moments were uncomfortable, I held her close and rocked her.. I wanted her to know I wasn't going anywhere.

We went through three 45 minute "sessions" where we would be praying and she would be screaming. During the last "session"(for lack of a better term) I could feel something evil to the left of me... no sooner that I felt it did Rachel start screaming and pointing right where I felt the evil sensation. I told Rachel to pray to God and not acknowledge it. I sang several songs, including Amazing Grace, and finally felt a peace to leave. That moment was hard because I didn't know when it was "okay" to leave... so I prayed and God told me that my work was done.

The minute we were walking back to our cars a car pulled up, watched us for a while and then drove away. We later found out that those were some of Rachel's friends and that they were at another park and could hear us from where they were... but they told Rachel that they didn't think the screams and noises could have possibly been her because they were so unnatural sounding.

Rachel looked at her phone and had 13 missed calls(Think about the evil superstitions tied to that number.), later discovered all to have been from the same crazy ex-boyfriend.

On my way home that night I was amazed by God but shocked by what I had just witnessed. I went home and couldn't sleep. Not out of fear that things would lurk out of the shadows to eat me, or anything silly like that, but I was in complete shock. I got in bed, put on some praise&worship music, wrote and prayed.

While I was writing out the previous events, I got to the part that said "And so we met at 7:20" when my hand was redirected and swiped under the time. God told me to read the verse 7:20 in every book of the Bible that had one and he would then show me which ones applied to me and which one applied to her. 1st Corinthians 7:20; "Each person should remain in the situation they were in when God called them"- I felt this applied to me because I wanted to run... but I stayed. God blessed that. 2nd Samuel 7:20; "What more can David say to you? For you know your servant, O Sovereign LORD."- I felt this applied to me because I am God's servant and I was sent there to deal with giants... to deal with demons... to pull down strongholds. The story of David & Goliath was brought to my mind during Rachel and I praying... I prayed against the giants trying to stand in the way of her calling. The verse that applied to Rachel was this- John 7:20 "...You are possessed by a demon! Who is trying to kill you?". That one verse was yet another thing confirming everything.

I have so many other small details I could tell you, but I think I've covered the majority of the story. Rachel has since that night been truly saved, attending church and living a restored/ set free life! God has done so much in her, for her and through her! It's been a blessing to watch the entire situation unfold like it has. The path has not been easy, she must keep her guard up more than ever before and fill herself with good, Godly things.. that way the enemy can't come and try to dwell inside of her yet again... but she's doing a wonderful job. What a mighty warrior she is now.

When I told God I would go where He wants, when He wants to do what He wants.. to be perfectly honest, I wasn't expecting Him to call me to something like that. However, I am so thankful He did. I have since been so refreshed, awakened and alive. Through that experience I have grown so much. Life is not all about simply going to church because "It's what Christians do"... but it's about going to church, falling on your face before God and not caring that someone might think you're strange for crying, jumping, clapping, spinning.. or truly worshiping. Life is not all about simply trying to say no to sex, drugs, alcohol and parties... but it's about staying away from corrupt company who tries pushing you towards those things. Life is not all about simply smiling to someone's face then running their name through the mud the minute they walk away.. but dealing with your issues so you can love them and be a blessing to them. Life is not all about immediate satisfaction.. it's about spiritual endurance. Life is not all about getting away with doing the bare minimum for your spouse... it's about going above and beyond, putting their needs above your own. Life is not all about you... it's about God. I challenge you to try and do something every day that brings a smile to someones face! Do things that will push you outside of your comfort zone. Don't go out and be foolish, allow God to direct your steps.. but don't simply pray for good health, financial security and safety. Pray that God will use YOU in some way that will better the kingdom! My motto is "If I feel in control... then I am. If I feel I can handle things...then I can." I have to daily choose to "Let go and let God". Don't fall prey to the mentality that if you're doing good you're doing enough. Go out unto the world and be the shining light that we're called to be! But before you can do that, you must learn from the Son how to shine like the Sun. Don't become so consumed with doing things FOR God.. but learn the importance of doing things WITH God. We must first learn how to reflect Christ before we go out and proclaim in His name. Don't make a mockery of the one who gave you life. Seek Him, love Him and trust Him. I hope this has encouraged you and will be a catalyst in allowing God to freely move in your life, starting today! You will be amazed at how rewarding and fulfilling it is to be truly used of the Lord. God bless you all.

~Taylor~
1st Timothy 4:12 "Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity."