We last spoke of my trip to Romania and the difficulties of being away from the one God had just brought into my life. During this post, I'd like to cover some of the "downs" we've faced during our courtship/relationship.
Let me first start off by saying that God has truly blessed us. Brandon & I have stood in awe of God daily as we see Him open up doors for ministry; with others- at churches- at conferences- with each other... The Lord seems to ALWAYS be at work! I was just talking to Brandon yesterday about this very thing. Brandon came home & said to me, "Taylor! You have NO idea how many times I'll be somewhere when I hear my name being called. I'll turn around & someone will be standing there... someone I don't know. They'll start talking to me about how they know me from Facebook & have been so blessed by the relationship God's given to you & me!". How neat is that?! So needless to say, we are grateful to God for our relationship & the way He is using it to glorify Himself.
Like any good thing that God's given... the enemy wants to destroy it. Satan works hard to destroy the things of the Lord, but when you can identify his schemes, you're better able to respond properly & overcome his pathetic attempts at destruction! It's easy to talk about the good... it's much harder to acknowledge the difficult. However, that's precisely what I want to do- I want to highlight the low times & pray that it encourages you in your life as you face difficulties.
Brandon & I get along splendidly, we do not fight, we don't really get angry... however one thing we've noticed is that the enemy has tried quite ardently to confuse us in the area of communication. I'm not sure if any of you have ever talked to someone when they've said something that offended you. Your defenses are thrust into overdrive & you start to go off when they say "wait- you didn't understand what I said... that's not what I meant...". To me, that's been the biggest problem. There were times in the past when I'd sit down with Brandon to talk about something & our understanding of what the other was saying seemed to fly straight out the window! This is a scheme of the enemy. God is not a God of confusion... He is a God of understanding & love. Brandon & I WORKED through those times by asking God to come more into the situation. Is that an easy thing to do? To place your fired up flesh on the sidelines when it's fighting to play front & center? No, it's not... but it is the right thing to do. Relationships take work, sacrifice, acknowledgement of self-wrong, trust, openness, honesty. These are all VERY difficult things because they're the complete opposite of our fleshly impulses. A relationship takes work.
I recently saw this picture & was extremely moved by its depth. Why has this mentality changed? Now relationships are viewed as something cheap, disposable & unimportant... instead of valuable, lasting & of the UTMOST importance. Everyone has an ideal when it comes to relationships- sometimes people are hesitant to invest in another person due to past hurts, regrets & pain... but the only way you're ever going to have something worth having is to know that it's something you can't afford to lose. My life without Brandon would be miserable..he really does complete something within me- we teased that we wanted to take the "till death do us part" out of our vows because we only want each other forever! Haha.
How you view your relationship & your "ideals" will mold the outcome of what you have. Does the relationship you strive after benefit only yourself or the other one involved? This should be the motivation- to please your spouse (or future spouse). I've watched time & time again where when things didn't go the way someone wanted they'd get mad, throw a fit & make the other person's life quite unpleasant. How truly selfish. My parents constantly told me that if I'd always put my spouses needs first, & he did the same, then both parties needs would be met & we'd both have better learned how to sacrifice & serve. Those are each Christlike attributes.
Another difficulty I've faced since entering into a relationship with Brandon has been my health. Up until about a year ago I've been very healthy. I couldn't tell you the last time I'd been "sick"... Then I met Brandon & we'd begun our glorious courtship. Once I returned from Romania my health seemed to spiral out of control. Many of you reading are aware of this & kept me in your prayers- thank you for that. For those of you who don't know, I began having stomach issues. I couldn't keep food down, even ended up getting to the point where I couldn't keep water down which landed me in the hospital with a gashed open head as a result of passing out. For months I struggled, I lost weight, I prayed... I tried to understand what was happening. The easy thing to do in my situation would have been to blame God. I could have given Him a piece of my mind, grown bitter, driven a wedge between our relationship...the outcome of that would have been destruction in every other area of my life because when we choose to separate ourselves from God, we remove ourselves from the blessings that come with the outpouring of His love! So, instead I grew closer to Him & placed blame where blame was due- upon satan. After several months I got better.. with no answer from the many, many tests I just accepted the blessing of my healing & moved on. While on my honeymoon I got sick & had to go to an Urgent Care office because I felt as if I'd come down with the flu... Several weeks ago I ended up getting sick again with similar symptoms, this time though I had to have an IV inserted because I'd grown dehydrated. After the numerous tests they performed (both times), things came back negative & I still had no answers. Each time I was told " you look to be the epitome of health!" yet I would feel horribly sick. What could cause that?? The tactics of the enemy. To look at the timeline of my life, my health went downhill ever since entering into a relationship with Brandon. Satan has been working double time trying to get me down so I'll be unable to perform the mighty plan God has for me & Brandon.
I say all of that to say this: Satan doesn't have to turn you into an alcoholic, prostitute or drug dealer to keep you from God, he simply has to distract you or beat you down so badly in mind, body, health, etc... & get you to a point where you feel you can't go on any longer. He simply has to keep you from taking the next step down the narrow path. This is the encouraging part- The LORD is our strength!!!
"Hear my cry, O God,
listen to my prayer;
2 from the end of the earth I call to you
when my heart is faint.
Lead me to the rock
that is higher than I,
3 for you have been my refuge,
a strong tower against the enemy." -Psalm 61:1-3 (esv)
Satan attacks when God is up to something BIG- when he feels he's being threatened... I view the trials as a blessing because my relationship with Brandon obviously causes the enemy to tremble! What a joy to know that being joined to Brandon not only makes me happy, makes God happy & is fulfilling the calling on my life... but it's causing the enemy to fear & grow nervous! We should all live our lives in such a way that satan knows you're a force to be reckoned with... you're someone who ISN'T going to back down when the going gets tough, but you will fight to the end & be the mighty vessel God has called you to be!
In my relationship I have been blessed far beyond what I've been burdened. Don't view your relationship as something to simply make YOU happy... but as a beautiful tool to be used in making GOD happy. When people look at you, what do they see? When they see your relationship with a spouse, or someone else... are they motivated to better themselves? I urge you to seek your heart & discover the mindset you possess... because the things you choose to cultivate within yourself impact more than just you.
Lean on God through hard times, trust Him always, count it ALL joy (something God's been teaching me...) & humble yourself. I promise you- you will never regret being more like Christ. :)
-Taylor
No comments:
Post a Comment